BY SHANN NIX
The Computerized Kaffeeklatsch
Cafes' electronic bulletin boards offer cybersex with your latte
CHRONICLE STAFF WRITER
In the Brain Wash cafe on Folsom, Mike Cook ignores the concrete floors, the industrial tubing and flashing lights in the background, the twentysomething Eurotypes, hanging around and tip- ping up their lattes, slouched on decoupaged stools and debating the relative merits of the universe at large.
Mike Cook is busy doing some serious one-finger- ed typing on a computer console. He may look as if he's here, but he's not. He's on the Net.
To call SF Net a computer system linking a num- ber of Bay Area coffeehouses is to oversimplify. The Net is an ethic, an aes- thetic, a social system, a place to hang, a way of life. Users are called Net- ters, or Net- Heads. For the
intrepid and the fascinated, the Net provides new lingo, new friends, new places to party ar.d the ulti mate in safe dating-cyber style.
Here's how it works. Say you have some time on your hands. You cruise into one of the coffeehouses that's logged on to the Net the Jumpin Java on Cole, or the Horseshoe on Haight. You wait until the table's free. (It might take hours.) You slide into the seat and stare down at the monitor.
It's set flush into a table and covered with plastic to protect against the inevitable espresso spill. The screen cordially invites you to insert your two quar- ters, which signs you on and buys you four minutes of on-line time, and it introduces itself as "the first true public message forum."
Once you're connected, you have to start making a series of rapid choices. Do you want live chat? Poker chat? Fidonet? Do you want to talk current events, politics, graffiti, arts-culture-music, books and poetry, movies, computers, sports, great cities, buy/trade, environment, science/tech, trivia, women's or men's is- sues?
You settle on live chat and log on. A tip for the uninitiated--it's cooler, and safer, to choose a handle. When the computer asks for your name, tell it something bizarre. The more outrageous the better. Examples of existing handles include: Treasure Troll, Old Mole, Love Monster, Venus Anemone, Rice Aroni, Mr. Wonderful, Thee Antechrist - you get the pic. ture.
You'll generally be greeted warmly by the other participants in your "conference table," and the conversation will start to scroll rapidly past your eyes. Jump right in-remember, your clock is ticking. These conversations aren't always deep and pro- found; one recorded conversation went like this:
(06: sleazy) gootchygootchy goo trollie
(16: tippytoe) hi im tippytoe im new, thought i'd
introduce myself.
(08: old mole) yay he said hi first to me
(03: sea monkey) it's not a good sign when the bed creaks and you sleep on a futon.
And so on... Live chats are generally pretty light- weight, self-described as "trivial and banal," with humor and some emotional discussions mixed in.
For deeper conversations, you'd have to dip into the es like for "I philosophy basket, where you might find message this one: keep calling
SF (Net) for some reason, looking the answers. Unfortunately, I'm not finding them. I guess I'm growing up even though I'm against it and want to place my life in reverse."
this: "Is truth our guide or the opinion that may I wonder what Luther, Galileo, Payne, Thoreau, Garrison or Gandhi would say to that?"
keeps Netters coming back to pump quar
Or